The rhythm of life…

Your breath is your constant companion, you can take it anywhere with you and you can control it even when everything else has to land in the hands of others around you…In short, your breath is your best friend and … Continue reading

Travelling the Labyrinth…

What surprised me about Birthing From Within…?

What surprised me most was that it provoked so may questions!  What did I learn?  Am in a labyrinth or leaving one?  Am I being called to enter or called to return?  Do I want another journey?   Will there ever not be a labyrinth to travel?

Turns out that there are myriad labyrinths in my life…I am slowly exiting the one that was the birth of my second son…I believe I have just stopped resisting the call to take the next step and journey into a new labyrinth…

Birthing From Within Labyrinth Art

Birthing From Within Labyrinth Art

I am about to embark on the full BFW Mentor & Doula Program…I do feel called, but I have been questioning myself…am I ready…is now the right time for my family…is this really my path…?

I do feel called…after a week surrounded by the beauty of Galstonbury, bathed in the spirit & character of the town, precious days spent amid a circle of incredible, inspiring, good hearted women, I know that I was not the only one being called, not the only one searching my soul…I know that I am ready to step on to this path, and to release the resistance, begin the letting go of some old ideas, to allow some part-known truths to crystalise…

I am called…Fresh from the 3 day introductory course…trying to make sense of it all, slowly integrating the experience, practising some of the skills I began to learn…

My Birthing From Within journey really began when I was pregnant with my second son, when I was still hurt, disappointed, frustrated by elements of my first son’s birth…and it had been a *good* birth, a *natural* birth, so I questioned my *right* to feel that way, but I acknowledged that I did…

Ina May Gaskin’s book “Spiritual Midwifery” had been my bible in my previous pregnancy, and I read it cover to cover again…her assertion that “This is not pain, this is an interesting sensations that requires all of my attention” had become my personal mantra, and it worked for me in both labours…Thanks to Finn for reminding me that this too is non-focussed awareness…I loved her attitude of putting out positive energy during labour, to love those caring for us & to feel that returned as sustaining love & strength…I loved that Ina May was resolutely positive about birth…And I knew that I had some issues to resolve before this next birth, or they may cause me to lose my way in labour or to slow down & resist as Ina May had raised…

I am not sure where I came across Birthing From Within, only that it was likely through a wise woman friend…And it felt right, so I read it, and I explored aspects of my pregnancy, labour & birth experience through creating art…but I drew the line at practising the pain coping techniques…Those I avoided, I coped in my first labour, I figured that I could cope this time…and it turns out I did, happily, luckily!  And whilst I (thought) I got what Pam England was saying about not writing a birth plan, I couldn’t shake off the need to clarify what it was about my first son’s birth that I did not want to repeat…I felt slightly indignant at the notion I was not preparing *properly* if I wrote a plan…so I wrote one…I’m not sure anyone but my husband & best-friend-come-doula ever read it…

My first son was born in hospital, after transferring in from home to the labour ward, no intervention, a forward-flesh-tear…My second son was born at home, in water, with his brother smiling at me as he watched *our* new baby arrive, no tear…It was the birth I had dreamed of, I was elated, I was passionate, I was determined to help other women to prepare so that more of them could labour & birth their babies *naturally*…

Even before Glastonbury, the BFW introductory recordings had me challenging my mindset, here are the musings that I drafted just before heading off to Glastonbury:

Childbirth Preparation is sometimes an odd phrase, since it implies that preparation is necessary and therefore can influence the outcome…

In reality, whilst we association preparation with control, *control* has little place in childbirth…

I am about to undertake the Birthing From Within training in Glastonbury and I am aware that in her book of the same name Pam England does not advocate making a birth plan.  She feels it can distract a woman from real preparation for birth…I understand this, and yet…it seems to me that for many women it is about exploring their options, becoming informed, communicating their emotions, hopes and expectations with their birth companions and care-givers…for some it may even feel a sacred ritual…

So, if women in my classes ask me about birth plans, I suggest that they keep it brief and that they start it with a request to their caregiver to help them achieve the birth they want…avoiding lists of “dos & don’ts” that may irk a tired midwife or ruffle the feathers of a proud consultant…

I suggest they communicate their preferred place of birth and to make it clear they expect to be supported in their choice; I emphasise the need to plan to birth in the place where they feel most safe, not the place where they think they should, or where a loved one would have them be, or where they have been told they are “allowed” to be because of policy or staffing levels…I aim not to be contentious but to encourage because we women need to speak with loud, clear voices so that our needs are heard and met, not sidelined in the name of saving money or easing logistics, so that we and our babies are as safe as we can be as we birth as we should and not as we are told…

And whatever their intentions,  I remind them is that there is very little that can be controlled in labour & birth, and that their breath is the one thing over which they alone can always have control, so we do a lot of work on connecting to the breath and exploring ways of breathing that may be useful, comforting, and calming in labour & birth…but which ultimately I hope will allow them to be so familiar with their breath that they will instinctively breathe in the way optimum for their stage of labour on the day…

Birthing From Within - Finger Labyrinth Glastonbury

Finger Labyrinth Magdalene Chapel Glastonbury

…Back to the present…I feel a little silly!  I had misunderstood all this time…Pam England was not telling women not to plan for birth, but to plan in a deeper, more meaningful way…a piece of paper is no more than a talisman if there is not some effort & experience behind it to strengthen & sustain the birthing woman…

I use the words “surrender” and “breathe your baby into the world” a lot…although perhaps that is shifting already…Virginia Bobro cautioned against “bumper sticker” birth…In the beginning, I resisted strongly…Harumph, arrogance…she is wrong, surrender is a powerful word…Slow dawning realisation, I am so arrogant…ask myself, have I truly offered women the opportunity to learn what surrender actually is, what it means…

I resisted…asking questions, more, deeper, what is behind the statement, the fear, the need to avoid…I resisted the shift in language I will need to fully integrate…

And I felt horribly fearful that I have been letting women down all this time…Have I unwittingly given promises of something not mine to give…have I implied that their birth choices are not valid…that their births were to be scorned…

I do hope not, and I cannot cling to those fears because they are only manifesting from a place of love in any case…they reflect my desire for every woman to feel elated at the birth of her baby…to be proud of her journey through the labyrinth…to feel she can celebrate her immense strength, her complete selflessness, her own birth as a mother…these fears provoke my own inner enquiry, demanding that I seek answers, that I move forward, that I act each moment from a place of love…

And so, I journey on, letting love guide me and opening my heart in the name of service to all women…

In Prem,

OMx

 

Om is where the heart is…

Use the heart gesture as you sit quietly, root of your spine seeking the earth, crown lifting to the sky…watch your breath, and then gently bring your breath to a more even flow…inhale deeply…exhale slowly…no forcing, no effort, simply watch the breath and be present as it slowly becomes deeper, slower, more rhythmic…

Anahata chakra symbolizes the consciousness of...

Anahata chakra symbolizes the consciousness of love, empathy, selflessness and devotion. On the psychic level, this center of force inspires the human being to love, be compassionate, altruistic, devoted and to accept the things that happen in a divine way. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As you breathe in, bring your awareness to your heart centre (Anahata chakra) and as you exhale, silently chant Om to yourself, allowing the sound to ripple out through your body creating widening circles of peaceful calm…

The heart gesture helps to bring peace & calm by directing prana to the heart centre from the hands, you can safely use it in even serious conditions to relieve heart ailments, release blocked emotions, unburden your heart and you may find it especially useful at times of emotional crisis or conflict.

Heart Gesture

Something for everyone…Find your quiet centre

Whether you are pregnant or have recently given birth, whether you have a vivacious toddler or a spirited adolescent, taking some time out to find your quiet centre can be an essential part of being the mother (or father) you want to be.

Try this as a meditation or relaxation…take 1 quiet minute or half an hour, whatever you want to spend or what time you can spare will do.

Close your eyes, keeping them softly closed, no tension held in your forehead or face, space between your upper & lower teeth to keep your jaw soft, your tongue released away from the roof of your mouth & your teeth.

For a moment or two, simply watch the natural rhythm of your breath.

Be aware as you inhale…aware as you exhale…

As you watch your breath, notice that you connect to your breath, it slows & deepens, and you gently become calmer (it lowers your blood pressure, slows your heart rate and as your breath deepens, you improve your lymphatic drainage, massage your abdominal organs to support effective digestion, and bring more oxygen into your body, helping you to feel more energised & improving your well-being).

Now visualise a velvety darkness behind your eyelids, and slowly begin to lay down a golden thread in the soft, serene dark, circling around and gradually inward to create a spiral.  Inhale deeply and exhale slowly as you journey from the outer most point and in toward the centre of the spiral.

When you reach the centre, rest your awareness at the centre of the spiral.

And in the words of the wonderful Snatam Kaur “Breathe, my love, breathe in your quiet centre”.

Take as long as you can to connect with your breath, to feel the calm that you can create, to feel the quiet within your heart centre at the innermost point of your spiral.

When you are ready, slowly retrace the spiral, gathering in your golden thread, returning your awareness to your physical body by taking a breath to the soles of your feet, another to the crown of your head, breathe into the palms of your hands and to the root of your spine.  As you become aware of the space that your body occupies, try to remain gently conscious of the quality of your breath and remind yourself to breathe with freedom & ease, as you did in your quiet centre.

With love, and with thanks to all the teachers, real & virtual, book-based & web-based whose words & teachings have inspired this simple practice Lx